Peace that surpasses understanding

   I have heard this verse before, but it has really hit home this last month.  The verse reads, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus". Phill. 4:7  I am clinging to this verse and also praying it over a family that is very near to losing one of their own to cancer.  Shannon Reynolds Smith was my RA for a year while I was at Bryan and then one summer we were roommates while we worked at Bryan.  I learned recently that she is nearing the end of her battle with cancer.  Shannon is young, a wife, a daughter and a mother to a precious little boy.  In April Shannon's family lost her mother to cancer and now her life is ending.  There is no understanding in my heart. So I am praying for peace that surpasses understanding.
     This past week has been tough for the Troyer family.  My husband's grandfather recently passed away and the legacy he has left behind is such an amazing testimony of God's faithfulness.  I did not have the opportunity to know him for very long, but I knew him well enough to know that when he saw Jesus he was greeted by the words," Well done my good and faithful servant".  Grandpa Troyer has touched so many lives in so many ways; I think of how he has impacted my life.  If it were not for Grandpa Troyer being obedient to the calling of the Lord, I would probably not be married to Jeff. You see Andy set an example of following God no matter the cost, I believe this example is what enabled his children to listen closely to the voice of God and his will in their lives. In 1972 God called my father-in-law to the state of MS, this would take him and his wife a long way away from their families.  But my father-in-law was obedient despite the sacrifice required.  I believe there were many blessings bestowed upon his family for his obedience, but one that was given to me was the privilege of marrying his oldest son Jeff.  God's plan is so intricate and beautiful, even if there is hurt and pain involved sometimes.  When Grandpa Troyer left the Amish church following God's leading he set in to motion events that would change my life for the better and for that I will be eternally grateful. 

  These are things that I must cling to when I can find no understanding in my heart. God's plan is so much greater than my own, my own life is evidence to that fact. 


Pics of McKenna with her Great Grandparents before Aunt Lisa's wedding in Ohio.

McKenna loves to put her hands in your mouth!!

Saying hello

Becoming friends

Love them all

This makes my heart smile.

Booger, beach, birthday and first time mom freak-out

  It has been a while since I have written, but we sure have been busy.  McKenna has officially turned one! She has now said goodbye to her baby days and hello to toddlerhood.  Booger is now running circles around us and she took those skills to the beach on our vacation in September.  I wish you all could have seen her, she loved it! She was fearless when it came to the water and the waves.  Part of me wishes she had a little more fear, just for safety, but it was great to see that she has an adventurous side that is hard to daunt. The salt did not seem to bother her as she ran into the water and splashed around. We had such a good time just watching her as she explored her new world.  We were there for a few days and when we got back we prepared for McKenna's first birthday party! It was an owl-themed party, Look Hooos One, and it was so much fun to decorate and plan.  We had it at McKenna's Memaw and Baw Baw's house and i think McKenna had a blast. Booger was so blessed by family and friends and she really loved her cake!  I have plenty of pictures I will be posting of this event!  Well now that you are caught up on the past few weeks I have to post about my latest scare with the booger.  Last Friday I took McKenna to the doctor because she had been running a fever of about 102 since Thursday, and while I could get it down I couldn't get it to break.  Knowing how prone to strep she is (four times before she was 1) I decided to take her to the doctor the next day.  Well we found out that day that she did not have strep but a virus, which meant fluids, rest (how do you get a super active toddler to rest I ask you?!) and motrin for the fever. So Saturday came and we just spent the day at home pumping fluids and giving motrin for the fever which was decreasing.  By Saturday night Mckenna was feeling much better and her fever was down to about 100.  On Sunday we decided to take Mckenna to her cousins' rodeo since she was doing much better.  She made a little friend there as you will see by the pictures and had a great time looking at the horseys! Well that brings us to Monday, the day i decided to do my grocery shopping and take McKenna with me since her fever had broken and she was feeling so much better.  So there we were at Kroger going up and down the aisles just taking our time, when McKenna starts to get really fussy, this is really unlike her, especially in the grocery store because she normally likes the whole experience. Well the next thing I know, booger is scratching her head, pulling her hair and crying uncontrollably.  As soon as I pick her up I notice a rash on her face and on her scalp.  So trying not to show how scared I was I quickly push my cart to checkout, pay for the groceries I got and rush to the car.  I call her doctor and they tell me just to bring her on to the office. So we get there and as soon as the doctor sees her he says, Roseola.  Which come to find out is a virus that has a high fever, when the fever breaks a rash will form.  Good to know.  So we got some medicine for the itching and are now good as new.  Thank Goodness. Oh the things I am learning as McKenna's mommy!  
       Oh and in other news the munchkin now says Hot!, points to herself when you ask where is McKenna?, and she really understands the word Go.  As a warning if you are near McKenna and happen to say the word go or ask her if she wants to go, you need to be prepared that she will run to the door in anticipation of getting to go.  If this does not happen she will usually be reduced to tears and get quite upset. 

Pics of her latest adventures:

Did not really like her hat!

She makes this face, thanks to her daddy

Too Cute!

Ready to ride the horses!

Her first little cowboy friend!

He liked her a lot!

They had a lot of fun!

Podgie (to those who remember)

      I once knew a little boy who might have been the most stubborn, aggravating, and frustrating little boy in the world.  He was also the most loyal, steadfast, and generous kid you could ever run into.  These contradicting qualities could drive you crazy one minute and endear you to him forever the next.  This little boy terrorized his big sister often, bless her heart.  He had a way of getting under her skin and pushing her to her limits.  Most siblings go through periods of squabbling but these two could put most brother/sister teams to shame.  Their "high-spirited" activity was notorious and could make any babysitter shake in her boots.  And yet you couldn't find two more loyally devoted siblings.  That little boy would would do anything for his sister, and did on many an occasion.  One time they were playing with knives, (yes knives and yes they knew better but those marble handled Cutco creations just called to them), and the sister of course, had an accident.  She sliced open the skin between her thumb and finger.  It was a mess, blood was everywhere, and now there was the possibility of getting into some big time trouble.  But this pair was not discouraged, they quickly cleaned up the mess bandaged the hand then ran down to the barn to concoct a story that had to do with an old nail and a hay loft.  The little brother was concerned because the wound looked pretty bad but he had his sister's back and would go along with it.  So they told their lie and escaped the trouble they were dreading.  Don't worry the story doesn't end there, they learned their lesson.  The hand was taking some time to heal and the parents got to thinking that if the nail was old and rusty then there should be a TETANUS shot.  The pair had not taken this into consideration.  So off the kiddos went to the Emergency room with their grandmother so that the sister could get her shot and the hand looked at.  No one likes shots and the dear girl was no different, but she sat there bravely and decided that there was no going back.  The poor brother though was almost in tears as he sat beside her and whispered to her "tell the truth, just tell the truth!!".  But that secret they kept between them until they were both in their twenties! But those knives were never played with again. 
            These kids knew what it meant to stick together and that lesson came in handy throughout their growing up years.  Their parents divorced when they were young and just going through all of that brought them closer.  I think of that little boy now and how much he was there for his big sister.  He was there every Christmas Eve when they were little, camping out in her room listening to old Christmas records and talking about their dreams. He was there for all the games and events she was in, he rarely missed one.  He was there the day she graduated from high school, he helped move her to college, he was there for her first broken heart offering words of comfort and a shoulder to cry on. He was there when she was too sick to drive home, he came and got her.  He was there when she took a step of independence and went away for a summer he helped her pack her bags, he was there when she graduated college, and also there when she moved away he again helped her move.  He was there when she worried about making rent, he loaned her the money, just in case.  He was there when she got her first "real" job, he helped her celebrate.  He was there when she brought, "the one" home and gave his approval.  He was there when she said her vows, and a little over a year later he was there the night his first niece came into the world, ready to take his turn to hold her.  He was always there.
           Now that little boy is a man, and a good one at that.  He has decided to dedicate his life to defending our country and our people.  He has become a soldier.  I believe this career choice makes sense for him, in a way he has always been a soldier, defending and protecting those that needed it, those he loves, while living his life the best way he knows how.  He at this moment is on his way to South Korea for a year, a whole year. 
       

                  I'm really going to miss my little brother.



          

A Year........wow

   Thats right my little girl will be one in just a couple of weeks and I have no clue how that happened.  I'm not sure how time got away from me; it seems I blinked and there she was walking around chattering to herself.  It is bittersweet I believe, my baby is not so much a baby anymore, she is a toddler, and a full fledged one at that.  I'm so glad that she is growing and becoming who God created her to be, but there is that trickle of sadness as I watch her move at lightening speed through her babyhood.  I want to tell her to slow down, to enjoy this stage a little longer, to let me enjoy this stage a little longer. McKenna is a go-getter, she seldom sits still and is always ready for action. I love these qualities about her, but right now I want her to slow down a little, let me hold her a little longer, let me take full stock of her in all her glory as a baby so I never forget it.  Selfish? Yes, I know, but perhaps other moms out there can relate.  I would never hold her back from growing up, but I will blog how I feel about it:)  Now that I have got all of that out, I  must say I am truly fascinated with McKenna's growing up process.  Well to be honest there are other feelings that go along with the fascination and they would be frustration, happiness, and exasperation.  The girl can make you feel all of these in about a minutes time.  She is a wonder.  I watched the other day as she grabbed one of her play buckets put it on the floor, then preceded to go get one of her books and prop it up on the bucket, while she looked at it! I believe I laughed out loud! She loves books, all books, she is not partial, and magazines count.  One of her daddy's Cabela's magazines suffered dearly at the hands (and mouth) of McKenna before it was rescued only to realize it had to be put to rest in the garbage, it was too far gone.  The booger is still continuing her war with the dishwasher, so far she has not made much headway; she is also currently going through a climbing stage, this so far has not been to her advantage, it just means she has discovered a new level of stuff she is not allowed to have.  It also seems that we have a munchkin who likes to break it down, you turn on any music and she is stomping her foot, and grooving to the beat, it is quite hilarious.  McKenna is also improving her communication skills by raising her voice when she wants something, and if you do not guess right she will go up another octave, this will continue until you get it right or she is reduced to tears because you simply will not cooperate.  We are working on this but she is quite dedicated to the task of educating us all on what it is exactly that she wants.  Oh and I can't forget that her new signal to let us know that she is hungry consists of her climbing her highchair and then hanging on by her fingernails while she yells ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, mama!!! She is oh so talented:)

My days are so busy with my little motorboat McKenna, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  I treasure the times, when she gets a book and backs her little booty up to me so I will read it to her. I love when she laughs out loud and giggles uncontrollably, and on the same note I love that when she is sad or hurt she wants me because she trusts that her mommy will fix it.  The words "childlike faith" have new meaning when you see it in the eyes of your child. 

I feel like this has been an awesome year, McKenna and I have come so far.  We have both grown in different ways and we have grown together.  I remember the stressed out mom with a fussy baby, the mom who was a nervous wreck about what her baby ate and when she ate it and worried constantly.  The mom who had to learn to trust herself and the role that God gave her.  I also remember the fussy baby, the baby who was desperately trying to find her way in the world, the munchkin to first time parents, who slept little and ate a lot.  All I can say is "To God be the glory great things he hath done"


Pics of Booger in her first year:

New to the world!!!

1st Month still a little unsure about this place!

2nd Month Chunky Cheeks!

3rd month and First Christmas!

4th month Eating choc chip cookies with uncle Clint

5th Month She was always calm in the bathtub, loves water:) Started crawling this month!

6th month Loves riding in the car!

7th Month Saying goodbye to Uncle Clint:(

8th month Aunt Lisa's wedding spending time with Grandma and Grandpa Troyer

9 months!! What a mess! Started walking this month!!

10 months and lots of personality!

We haven't put August pics on the computer yet so month 11 will have to wait!! But she has grown and changed so much!!

Life just keeps flying by.....

I know it has been forever since I have written, but life seems to be going at maximum speed and I am just holding on for the ride.  Little Booger, or should I say Big Booger, is just growing and growing!! She now walks, has three and a half teeth, and says ma ma, up, and uh oh.  She is constantly amazing us with her escape skills and Macgyver like abilities.  Just so we are clear I blame Jeff for those skills that she has developed:)  Along with her new abilities new attitudes have also developed, she now gets mad at her passy, and pretty much wants what she wants and wants it now.  We are working on this, and trying not to laugh in front of her.  Mommyhood is such a joy right now during this stage.  I love watching her change and grow and discover this new world around her.  There is also of course some sadness along the way as she becomes to "big" for certain things or no longer enjoys some things that used to delight her.  I'm guessing that the rest of her life will be like that for me, times of joy and times of sadness, but oh what fun it is.  Here are a few of her latest antics that make us shake our heads:

The Toilet Paper Escapde:

 The other morning I was putting on my makeup and had McKenna in the bathroom with me.  She usually just sits there, plays with her toys and waits on me to get finished, not so much this time.  I see her crawl out of the bathroom but I can watch her in the mirror so I am not overly concerned, I can hear her cooing and figure she has found something to entertain herself.  Don't worry she did.  When I finish I walk in to our bedroom and there is my precious child with every roll of toilet paper out of the plastic (and we buy in bulk so it was a lot)  and several rolls unraveled and she is working on eating the one currently in her little hands. I got as much out of her mouth as I could but some showed up in her diaper later.  It was a sight and while I thought, great I get to clean this up, all I could do at the moment was laugh.  She thought it was funny as well and joined me with her little giggle.  The next day she did the same thing with the tea bags that were in their little box, she figured out how to get into my pantry and the teabags were just her height.  I guess we are going through a take everything out of its container stage, wonder if I will still be laughing in a few weeks.


The dishwasher


The dishwasher has become McKenna's fiercest enemy.  She is just drawn to this contraption and no amount of no's and hand smacks seem to deter her.  I had just unloaded the dishwasher one night and was starting to re-load.  McKenna of course was in the floor, ever observant watching this process.  She goes to touch the machine and I immediately use my teacher voice and issue a strong NO.  She backs off looking very wounded, pouty face and all.  I turn my back and when I look back at her she is now standing up with her hands in the dishwasher.  This time her hand is smacked and another no is reinforced.  Of course this time there are tears, pouty face, shaking her hand, and her world has apparently ended.  But she quickly stops crying as I pretend to turn around, while still watching her.  She doesn't even hesitate she goes for it again!  A stern no, another hand smack, and being moved out of the kitchen, sends her into major tears and you would have thought I had thrown her out of the kitchen.  But now I think my problem is solved, I go about my business, checking every once in a while to make sure she is playing with her toys and has managed to get over this abuse that she has been subjected to.  Then I get busy, washing some dishes up loading the dishwasher on and off and just getting my kitchen in order.  Then I go to put my last item in the dishwasher and what do I find, McKenna sitting  on the dishwasher door leaning in getting food off of plates with her hands. Nice, glad my parenting is working.  The night did not end well for McKenna and we both went to bed with hard feelings I think.


She can be hardheaded, stubborn, delightful, crazy, and amazing, but one thing is for sure she is McKenna Ruth Troyer our daughter that we would not trade for anything, not even a new dishwasher.  

McKenna and Mommy at Aunt Lisa's Wedding.  She is thrilled can't you tell?

McKenna and Daddy at aunt Lisa's wedding.

McKenna with her cousin Bailey at her kindergarten graduation.

Sacrifice

Today we celebrate the fact that the ultimate sacrifice was answered with ultimate Grace.  Today, we remember that an empty tomb announced that death was conquerable.  Today, we celebrate that the Lord we worship is in fact alive. 


We as Christians are unique in that the God we serve is alive and has conquered death.  Today is a day of celebration, however, today my heart has been heavy with the thought of the sacrifice.  I should have been cheerful and full of joy to be able to celebrate the resurrection of my Lord.  But, instead my mind has been on the sacrifice of the father, you know the part that comes before the miraculous risen savior, the part that brings tears to the eyes, the part I can't handle seeing replayed in movies or on television, or even in plays.  The sacrifice.  

I'm familiar with the word and act of sacrifice, I mean geez I'm a mom, what mom does not know what sacrifice is.  We sacrifice warm food because we feed our children first and our food gets cold, we sacrifice sleep (ahh sleep) in order to be there for our babies, we sacrifice our bodies (stretch marks that no lotion can make go away), we sacrifice our health, fearlessly going into flu infested bathrooms and bedrooms to comfort our sick children, we sacrifice time, giving up hobbies or interests so that we can drive our kids to soccer practice.  As mothers we put our kids' needs before our own, that's what we do, we are moms.  And if you asked anyone of us if we would sacrifice our very life for our child, of course we would and not even bat an eye.  But if we were asked to give our child as a sacrifice, you would be hard pressed to find a woman who would not go down fighting to save or spare her child. 

So when contemplating the sacrifice made, I don't always picture the man, now I often picture the little boy.  The one with a mommy who wiped his runny nose, and kissed his skinned knees. The little boy who delighted his mommy with his first word, first smile, and first steps (just like Mckenna delights me).  The little boy with two fathers, both who loved him deeply and taught him how to walk in their footsteps one day.  The little boy who with tears in his eyes asked his daddy that if it be thy will let this cup pass from me.

And I contemplate the mother, who brought him into this world knowing that while he was her little boy, he was also a savior. The mother who had to know in her heart that one day a sacrifice would be made. 

I also contemplate the fathers.  One who walked with him and taught him how to be a carpenter, and loved him as his own.  The other who knew when it all began how it would end and loved us so much that he still went through with it.

Finally I contemplate the boy who became a man and sacrificed everything for me. A man who has made it possible for my child "to face uncertain days because he lives". It is hard for me to wrap my mind around that sacrifice and that love.  It is an unearthly love the father has for us, that I am sure of and thankful for.  


Some pictures of Miss McKenna aka The Booger on this beautiful Easter Sunday:

Her bow was about the size of her head! I loved it!

Where is McKenna? I can't see her through the flower!

She is a little unsure of the grass, bless her:)

This is her, "my bow injured me look"  right after she snapped her head with it:(

Sickness and such...

The booger is sick; and when I say sick I mean strep and an ear infection.  It has not been pretty at our house lately.  She is medicated and is on the mend but her decongestant and I are about to go to war.  Unfortunately my child is in the small percentage of those children who instead of being put to sleep by antihistamines she gets wired.  Thank you doctor.  For the past five nights McKenna has chosen to sleep in about thirty minute stretches sometimes fifteen and occasionally we get an hour.  When I say we, I mean McKenna and I, just to be clear. My wonderful mother-in-law took McKenna today so I could get some sleep and thanks to that I am starting to return to the human race.  Do not worry I have forged a plan of attack against the decongestant and I am hoping tonight will be much better for McKenna and myself.  All of this has not slowed the booger down very much, she still goes about 90 miles a minute and has now discovered new areas of our house thanks to her crawling capability.  I was quite comfortable with her thinking that the living room was the only fun room in our house, but those days are long gone.  I am beginning to think my child has a high pain tolerance when she chooses to.  When she started getting sick I thought it was allergies.  We live in pine pollen country, and everyone suffers during this season.  McKenna had watery eyes and a runny nose.  That was it.  No fever, no rash, no cough, no congestion, just runny nose and watery eyes.  That being said I thought it was no big deal that she was around other children, and a baby seeing as how it just had to be allergies.  The only reason I took her to the doctor was that she was not sleeping well at night and the allergies were not getting better with the baby Claritin I was giving her.  So imagine my reaction when the doctor told me it was strep and an ear infection. Great, not only had my baby had to suffer for about three days but I had allowed her to possibly contaminate other children.  I'm up for Mom of the Year.  So for future reference a baby can have strep without a fever, without a rash, without congestion, and without a cough.  A friend of mine had a similar experience and her child's only symptom was bad breathe, McKenna did not have that one either.  Of course after her diagnosis she then got all of the symptoms except fever and bad breathe.  Oh well at least she is feeling better.  
       On a lighter note McKenna is growing in leaps and bounds. It is amazing how she changes day to day.  Sometimes the way she looks at me it is like she is just waiting on me to understand what she is trying to tell me.  I love that she tries to communicate, except of course when her choice of communication is grunting angrily and screaming!  We are working on that attitude :)  It also amazes me how I see traces of others in her personality and her looks.  There is a picture on my wall of my mother when she was little and McKenna favors her in that picture so much.  McKenna also makes all of her dad's expressions, sometimes I get a look from her and it just screams Jeff Troyer.  Then there is that fiery personality, that determination to have her way, a strong dedication to whatever task she working on, and a stubborn streak that will run you ragged, in all of this I see my brother Clint.  There is also that way that she marches to the beat of her own drum and does things in her own time, in this I see her cousin Bailey. I will have to remember to thank Clint and Bailey when I am at my wits end with my child.  I am looking forward to seeing more people show up in her as she grows up.  I hope I see her Great-Grandmother Gaston (who she is named after) show up in her in the way that mamaw always wants to take care of everybody, and doesn't know how to be selfish.  I hope I see her Great Great Granddaddy Bryant show up in her in the way that he was as generous as the day is long and would rather lose money himself than to cheat anybody. I hope I see her Great Grandpa Sommers, (whom I never met, wish I had), who I heard loved people and never met a stranger. I hope I see her Great Grandpa Troyer in the way that he was strong and steadfast in his faith and did what was right and followed God's leading even though there were struggles.  I hope I see so many people from the past and many people from the present show up in her in different ways.  It is comforting to know that while death may take people that we love from us, we will not only see them in heaven, but we can have glimpses of them in our children. 


 
Here are some glimpses of McKenna in all her glory:

loves helping with the laundry, by putting her toys in the basket.

As if to say, "I did not eat a cookie!"

Uncle Clint giving her chocolate, forever endearing him in her heart.

I believe they are plotting against me.               

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trying to understand the craziness of her aunt Lisa! (This is a Jeff look by the way, I have seen Jeff look at Lisa the same way)

Oh gotta love the booger!!!

Finding Our Way

McKenna is finding her way more and more everyday and I am enjoying playing roles in her story; sometimes I am the bystander, other times the cheerleader, then the referee, often the warden and then of course comforter. But most of all I am mommy.

    As the bystander I literally stand by and watch.  I see her process things, and witness her determination time and time again.  She can be so persistent, a quality that I think will serve her well as she grows up but seems to be her downfall these days.  I love watching her hold something new or touch something for the first time.  We took her up to the new barn that the camp has built the other day and let her play in the sawdust (don't worry moms horses had not been in there yet so it was clean sawdust).  She was amazed! She crinkled her little toes around it and smiled so big.  Then she of course dug in with her hands grabbing it; and thankfully not going for her mouth which was a miracle.  She seemed to just want to feel it and experience it.  I could not help but be a little jealous, I couldn't remember the last time I had experienced such joy with something so simple as sawdust. You have to love that about children, the innocent discovery of their world.  Everyday really and truly holds something new for them to discover.  Unfortunately, not all discoveries are good things and that is where persistence can get McKenna in trouble.  She recently discovered Jeff's phone, my journal, and the t.v. remote all things that are off limits to little hands and drooly mouths.  She goes after these things like a rabid dog, frothing at the mouth and everything (okay the froth is really just left over milk and drool but it can be quite scary).  We have started popping hands and saying no, and our child seems to comprehend because when we say no she now bursts into tears but don't let that fool you she is not giving up.  We have gone round and round even moving the objects way out of her path but when we turn our heads she then crawls after them.  We move them higher and she pulls herself up to get to them.  Now some of you may think she is too young, (she is six months old) to understand all of this.  Let me then tell you about our ordeal tonight:  I was writing in my journal which will actually be hers one day and she was playing on the floor.  I was sitting in the floor and she crawled over to me and grabbed my journal, I being the responsible adult took it out of her mouth and said no no.  She looks at me and cries.  I stand firm, repeat no one more time, then move her to the other side of the room and then go back to my side of the room and continue writing.  Next thing I know she is back on my side sitting at my feet staring at my journal.  She reaches for it but does not touch it so I say no again a little more forcefully, she once again responds by crying. I then move her again and go back to writing.  Then I look up and she is on the other side of me again staring at the journal.  This time I choose to continue writing but I move the journal farther away from her.  She then crawls over my leg and grabs the journal.  This time I pop her hand (barley flip it with my fingers) and say no.  She again cries this time with a little more passion.  I close the journal giving up all hope of ever writing in it again and try to get her interested in some toy.  I have now moved the journal far out of her reach but that will not deter my child I watch as she crawls to get close to it, I say McKenna Ruth NO.  She turns into a pile of mush crying with tears streaming down her face, but, she does not touch the journal.  She stops crying, looks at the journal again (quite longingly), I say no mam, she cries again but a little less and finally comes crawling back over to me to play with a plastic coat hanger.  So she knows what no means she just doesn't like it, but who really likes being told no.  Persistence, something I will encourage her to have in some things and beg her to give up in others.

      Being McKenna's cheerleader is one of my favorite roles.  I love encouraging her and cheering her on as she attempts new obstacles and learns new things.  As you know she now crawls and pulls herself up, she is absolutely fearless when it comes to those things. No ground goes undiscovered in our house or any house that she is welcomed into.  She is constantly testing everything around her to see if she can pull up on it.  So far we have had success with the couch, the loveseat, a babydoll bed, her crib, coffee table, mom and dad's legs.  We have not had success with the rocking chair (it rocks and hits her in the head), the carseat (same thing) memaw and babaw's reclining sofa, and her play gym (it's just not strong enough).  We are not allowed but have attempted the bathtub, changing table (while sitting on top of it), and other peoples hair (she will use anything she can get her paws on!).  I look forward to cheering and encouraging her in the future as she attempts new feats.

               Being a referee is not as much fun.  Sometimes McKenna just needs a break and most of the time she fights it.  My lovely little girl can just play and play and play and before you know it you have a very tired very fussy young lady.  At this point it is always good for the referee to jump in and call time out before the little tiger works her way into a frenzy.  For example today during church McKenna was playing with some of her toys on the pew.  Now my child is pretty familiar with these toys because they are the same toys we take to her aunt Twila's everyday when we workout.  Well another little girl on the pew decided to play with the toys too, which is completely fine.  Well, it was completely fine with me but apparently not McKenna.  McKenna reached to grab the toys out of the other little girl's hands and when I pulled McKenna back she decided to shriek at me and at the other little girl.  Shrieking that was not subsiding.  So referee mom took shrieking McKenna to the nursery for a time out where she almost immediately fell asleep. I am hoping she was shrieking due to tiredness and not an unwillingness to share, that is a battle I choose to fight another day.  

                Then there is warden mommy.  This is no fun and neither one of us like this role, but it is necessary.  Sometimes things have to be taken away, and rules have to be enforced.  I believe that anywhere you find love you will find discipline.  This was the topic of our Sunday school class discussion today.  We talked about how God disciplines us because he loves us. The same holds true in parenting.  No one wants to raise a child who cannot function in the world because they do not know the meaning of the word no.  Nor do we want our child to be harmed due to our lack of discipline.  If I could I would wrap McKenna in bubble wrap everyday before she gets out of her crib.  I want to protect her from everything that I can, and while I know that there will be things I cannot protect her from there are a lot of things that I can simply by telling her no and helping her deal with it.  Hebrews 12:11 talks about how painful discipline can be at the time but how it harvests righteousness and peace.  Who does not want that for their children.  God wants it for us.  So I think I have to look at the warden mommy role as the because I love you role.  Maybe that is what I will say when McKenna looks at me and asks why I have grounded her for life; instead of the lesser true version "This hurts me more than it hurts you" (did our parents really think we believed that, please).


              I enjoy the role of comforter.  I am shamelessly thrilled that my child wants me when she is hurt or upset.  I do not know why it makes my heart swell with joy that she has picked me as comforter but it does.  Maybe I just love that feeling of being needed.  My child NEEDS me and I want to always be there for her.  Right now it is not that hard to be there, we are pretty inseparable.  I generally handle situations where she has bumped her head or other body part that needs immediate attention, kisses, and lots of hugging.  I'm actually not looking forward to when the comforting gets harder, like when she gets picked on at school, or gets picked last for kickball, or gets called names.  Those have me shaking in my boots a little.   Then when she gets to high school and life just gets harder, I'm not looking forward to that either. Like if she doesn't make some team she has worked really hard for, or she has body image issues, or if she just plain hates school those are not easy problems to help solve.  Of course then I have college to look forward to.  The boyfriend of two years breaks up with her and she is just broken and lost, or she stays stressed about graduating and picking a career for herself, or she forgets what she believes in and struggles through hard trials, these problems are not for the faint of heart nor or they easily comforted.  Maybe I will just call my mom and ask her to remind me what she did. 


                Mommyhood is this amazing journey that I have just begun, it is not always easy even now, but it is this wonderful role that God created for me.  To put it simply I love it.  


And to her fans here she is McKenna pics:

She loves chewing on her wocket.....and her daddy.

Hitting the road.

I believe she was a little stunned by this picture:)

Remembering to be Thankful

I am a person who values her sleep.  I need to sleep, I love sleep, lets be honest other people need me to sleep.  The world is a better place if I have been able to sleep through the night.  I am sure all of the moms out there are chuckling now because as a mom sleep becomes the long lost friend.  For me, I bade farewell to sleep on September 11, 2010. Since that glorious day sleep and I have had a rocky relationship.  My child is a beautiful and precious gift from God, and I am in no way regretting her birth or existence just to be clear.  Now that being said, my child led the attack on my sleep.  She was even a little sneaky about it.  When my wonderful and amazing mom stayed with us right after McKenna was born I did not notice as much that my sleep was under attack because I was able to nap through the day, I believe this was all part of my little angel's plan.  She was great and actually slept feeding to feeding so that was three hour stretches! Yay Go McKenna!  Mom and I both felt that I had an easy baby.  Then mom left.  I was almost  immediately thrown to the wolves or in my case wolf.  I say almost because my great mother-in-law and sister-in-law both came multiple days to help me with the house stuff and let me get some naps in.  McKenna had us all fooled.  At about two weeks old my child snapped.  She no longer slept feeding to feeding; she preferred about thirty minute stretches with screaming and eating in between. This was her pattern for quite some time, about two months or so.  Now don't worry she liked to give me some false hope at times.  One stormy night Jeff and I decided that she would sleep in her bouncy seat in our room due to Tornado warnings. In our bedroom we have a tin roof, the rest of the house is shingles; this information is just so you can see the importance of the roof. So all night McKenna would be listening to the ballad of the rain.  I expected her to be worse than usual but this was not so.  She slept from about 11pm to 6:30 or 7 the next morning!  I was amazed and immediately told Jeff that we must make it rain every night and put tin over her room.  Jeff came up with a more realistic plan and rigged up a sound system in her crib that played a thunderstorm.  I thought this was a brilliant plan and went to sleep that night convinced that I was going to get a wonderful nights sleep.  About thirty minutes into my false assurance  I awoke to the sound of my child crying..... through a thunderstorm.  I wish you all could have seen the look of devastation on my face when my dreams of sleep came crashing down.  I dragged myself out of bed and went to my child totally expecting to see a smile on her face and a gotcha look.  But I saw tears.  She was just as unhappy as I was. At this point I believe I began to learn a lesson.
 My child was very very fussy for the first three months of her life, it may have been colic, it may have been tummy troubles, or it could just be that she was finding her way in the world.  Whatever it was I was constantly trying to fix her.  I worried about her, I stressed about her, I researched her (babies in general read every book there is to read), I tried to schedule her, I tried just about anything to make her better.  Then at three months she started getting better.  I'm pretty sure it had nothing to do with me.  It was just her time.   It was then that I realized that through that time I had completely forgotten that I had so much to be thankful for: 
 McKenna was healthy, yes she cried a lot but the doctor said she was healthy and the child was not hurting in the weight department.  My baby loved to take a bath, had no fear of water and sometimes that is what I did to calm her down, how great was it that I had that tool.  My child ate and did it well, she never fussed about eating and took a bottle just fine.  My child would sleep in the car (except when she was freezing:(  we could almost always count on that getting us some silence from the cries.  All of these things were amazing things to be thankful for and yet I had become consumed with fixing her.  I had forgotten to be thankful. It can be so easy to focus on the problem or what I think needs fixing instead of treasuring the things that God has blessed me with. I have to choose to treasure and not to fix!




On a side note:  McKenna now sleeps through the night, has a schedule, and only cries when hurt, tired, or faced with injustices (like getting things taken away from her grabby hands or told no).  

Don't believe her I was never fussy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mckenna tell the truth

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, maybe a little fussy:)

Mobile McKenna

McKenna has gone mobile, thats right she is now crawling and I am in trouble.  Already with her new found skill she managed to find two plastic baggies and then proceeded to put them in her mouth.  I must say, though that this skill while opening up new messes is much better than her previously learned skill of applying poop to my carpet.  So tonight I post pictures in honor of the booger and her latest achievement.  Enjoy the Booger:

Bright eyes

Here she goes!

Taking a break

Yummy!

Her Jeff look, "Like what is the purpose of this?"