As the bystander I literally stand by and watch. I see her process things, and witness her determination time and time again. She can be so persistent, a quality that I think will serve her well as she grows up but seems to be her downfall these days. I love watching her hold something new or touch something for the first time. We took her up to the new barn that the camp has built the other day and let her play in the sawdust (don't worry moms horses had not been in there yet so it was clean sawdust). She was amazed! She crinkled her little toes around it and smiled so big. Then she of course dug in with her hands grabbing it; and thankfully not going for her mouth which was a miracle. She seemed to just want to feel it and experience it. I could not help but be a little jealous, I couldn't remember the last time I had experienced such joy with something so simple as sawdust. You have to love that about children, the innocent discovery of their world. Everyday really and truly holds something new for them to discover. Unfortunately, not all discoveries are good things and that is where persistence can get McKenna in trouble. She recently discovered Jeff's phone, my journal, and the t.v. remote all things that are off limits to little hands and drooly mouths. She goes after these things like a rabid dog, frothing at the mouth and everything (okay the froth is really just left over milk and drool but it can be quite scary). We have started popping hands and saying no, and our child seems to comprehend because when we say no she now bursts into tears but don't let that fool you she is not giving up. We have gone round and round even moving the objects way out of her path but when we turn our heads she then crawls after them. We move them higher and she pulls herself up to get to them. Now some of you may think she is too young, (she is six months old) to understand all of this. Let me then tell you about our ordeal tonight: I was writing in my journal which will actually be hers one day and she was playing on the floor. I was sitting in the floor and she crawled over to me and grabbed my journal, I being the responsible adult took it out of her mouth and said no no. She looks at me and cries. I stand firm, repeat no one more time, then move her to the other side of the room and then go back to my side of the room and continue writing. Next thing I know she is back on my side sitting at my feet staring at my journal. She reaches for it but does not touch it so I say no again a little more forcefully, she once again responds by crying. I then move her again and go back to writing. Then I look up and she is on the other side of me again staring at the journal. This time I choose to continue writing but I move the journal farther away from her. She then crawls over my leg and grabs the journal. This time I pop her hand (barley flip it with my fingers) and say no. She again cries this time with a little more passion. I close the journal giving up all hope of ever writing in it again and try to get her interested in some toy. I have now moved the journal far out of her reach but that will not deter my child I watch as she crawls to get close to it, I say McKenna Ruth NO. She turns into a pile of mush crying with tears streaming down her face, but, she does not touch the journal. She stops crying, looks at the journal again (quite longingly), I say no mam, she cries again but a little less and finally comes crawling back over to me to play with a plastic coat hanger. So she knows what no means she just doesn't like it, but who really likes being told no. Persistence, something I will encourage her to have in some things and beg her to give up in others.
Being McKenna's cheerleader is one of my favorite roles. I love encouraging her and cheering her on as she attempts new obstacles and learns new things. As you know she now crawls and pulls herself up, she is absolutely fearless when it comes to those things. No ground goes undiscovered in our house or any house that she is welcomed into. She is constantly testing everything around her to see if she can pull up on it. So far we have had success with the couch, the loveseat, a babydoll bed, her crib, coffee table, mom and dad's legs. We have not had success with the rocking chair (it rocks and hits her in the head), the carseat (same thing) memaw and babaw's reclining sofa, and her play gym (it's just not strong enough). We are not allowed but have attempted the bathtub, changing table (while sitting on top of it), and other peoples hair (she will use anything she can get her paws on!). I look forward to cheering and encouraging her in the future as she attempts new feats.
Being a referee is not as much fun. Sometimes McKenna just needs a break and most of the time she fights it. My lovely little girl can just play and play and play and before you know it you have a very tired very fussy young lady. At this point it is always good for the referee to jump in and call time out before the little tiger works her way into a frenzy. For example today during church McKenna was playing with some of her toys on the pew. Now my child is pretty familiar with these toys because they are the same toys we take to her aunt Twila's everyday when we workout. Well another little girl on the pew decided to play with the toys too, which is completely fine. Well, it was completely fine with me but apparently not McKenna. McKenna reached to grab the toys out of the other little girl's hands and when I pulled McKenna back she decided to shriek at me and at the other little girl. Shrieking that was not subsiding. So referee mom took shrieking McKenna to the nursery for a time out where she almost immediately fell asleep. I am hoping she was shrieking due to tiredness and not an unwillingness to share, that is a battle I choose to fight another day.
Then there is warden mommy. This is no fun and neither one of us like this role, but it is necessary. Sometimes things have to be taken away, and rules have to be enforced. I believe that anywhere you find love you will find discipline. This was the topic of our Sunday school class discussion today. We talked about how God disciplines us because he loves us. The same holds true in parenting. No one wants to raise a child who cannot function in the world because they do not know the meaning of the word no. Nor do we want our child to be harmed due to our lack of discipline. If I could I would wrap McKenna in bubble wrap everyday before she gets out of her crib. I want to protect her from everything that I can, and while I know that there will be things I cannot protect her from there are a lot of things that I can simply by telling her no and helping her deal with it. Hebrews 12:11 talks about how painful discipline can be at the time but how it harvests righteousness and peace. Who does not want that for their children. God wants it for us. So I think I have to look at the warden mommy role as the because I love you role. Maybe that is what I will say when McKenna looks at me and asks why I have grounded her for life; instead of the lesser true version "This hurts me more than it hurts you" (did our parents really think we believed that, please).
I enjoy the role of comforter. I am shamelessly thrilled that my child wants me when she is hurt or upset. I do not know why it makes my heart swell with joy that she has picked me as comforter but it does. Maybe I just love that feeling of being needed. My child NEEDS me and I want to always be there for her. Right now it is not that hard to be there, we are pretty inseparable. I generally handle situations where she has bumped her head or other body part that needs immediate attention, kisses, and lots of hugging. I'm actually not looking forward to when the comforting gets harder, like when she gets picked on at school, or gets picked last for kickball, or gets called names. Those have me shaking in my boots a little. Then when she gets to high school and life just gets harder, I'm not looking forward to that either. Like if she doesn't make some team she has worked really hard for, or she has body image issues, or if she just plain hates school those are not easy problems to help solve. Of course then I have college to look forward to. The boyfriend of two years breaks up with her and she is just broken and lost, or she stays stressed about graduating and picking a career for herself, or she forgets what she believes in and struggles through hard trials, these problems are not for the faint of heart nor or they easily comforted. Maybe I will just call my mom and ask her to remind me what she did.
Mommyhood is this amazing journey that I have just begun, it is not always easy even now, but it is this wonderful role that God created for me. To put it simply I love it.
And to her fans here she is McKenna pics:
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| She loves chewing on her wocket.....and her daddy. |
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| Hitting the road. |
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| I believe she was a little stunned by this picture:) |
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